A Most Unlikely Hero
by NeonZangetsu
Summary: What does it mean to be a hero? To fight? To never give up? To keep your word? I don't know. I've never really considered myself one. I just...did what I felt was right, you know? Not just for me, but for others. Heroes fight. Heroes protect. Heroes win...right? NarutoxRaikou? Narutoxharem? Vote Via Review! Maybe be upgraded to M later due to...reasons. Only one left now!
1. A Most Unlikely Hero

**A/N: Is it too much to ask for reviews? They seriously help me get through shitty days like this. If someone could be a dear and review A Most Unlikely Exam too, that'd be nice...its so close to one hundred and...well...I just need to hear some good news today. Why, you ask? Well:**

_Because someone cussed at me out of the blue, got out of his car, and all but tried to get into MY car. Through an open window. WHILE I WAS IN SAID CAR!** DRIVING IT! **Granted, I was driving slowly, but still! I closed the window in the bastard's face, and he took off! Do you have any idea how freaked out I am right now?! And then I come home to a sea of anonymous bullshit and angry PM's harassing me for writing. ARE YOU SODDING KIDDING ME?!_

**Minor rant incoming, because I'm a touch upset here...alright, really upset.**

**If you don't believe me, that's fine. I don't care. I'm literally shaking as I'm writing this, so _there!_**

**SO~!**

**Wasting my talent, am I?**

**Lost my damn mind have I?**

**Only capable of updating Fate stories, am I?!**

**One trick pony with a hard on for Naruto, am I?!**

**No, no, by all means! Lets keep reading down the list of insults and see just how angry I can get! Apparently I'm also irrelevant, retarded, not interesting and an utter failure as a person. And lets not forget that one chap who enjoys spamming my stories with senseless hate telling me to kill myself.**

**Really?**

**...Really?**

**_...REALLY NOW?!_**

**Sorry for all this but I'm absurdly pissed off at the moment now. Someone even suggested all my stories are "most unlikely" to be continued. How many times do I have to say that the "Most Unlikely" series is one big story told from different perspectives? And still I get flak for trying to write, for trying to make people happy. God forbid I actually update my other stuff!**

**Fine. Whatever. I see how it is.**

**But I'm going to continue. I WILL continue!**

**I won't let this break me, even if it does piss me off!**

**So, off we go! REVIEW FOR IT FEEDS MY ENGINE OF CREATION~!**

**One more to go! Only one more! Then I can finally update everything and release the chapters I have planned.**

**THERE SHALL BE ONLY ONE MASTER!NARUTO ON THE MOON! SO SAYETH I! Moon Cancer is next, then I can finally open the floodgates and unleash the updates. ****There, now we have a grand total of five Master!Naruto in all. ****Almost done...gotta...keep going...**

**As ever, this will be gone in two days if people don't like it.**

**I do hope you like it T_T**

_"I will mow down your enemies, Master."_

_...I think this is the beginning of a beautiful friendship."_

_~?_

**A Most Unlikely Hero (Moon)**

_Who made the moon?_

_Was it a god?_

_Was it man?_

_Neither?_

_Both?_

_Stories go on and on about it; what it is, where it came from, how it waxes or wanes every night. I could spend hours telling you myths and stories about it. No one in this world truly understands what makes the moon, or rather, the Moon Cell, what it is. __But this story isn't entirely about the Moon-or how it came to be. Rather, its a tale of how I wound up here._

_Might wanna strap yourselves in. Its quite the story._

_When you watch the earth burn around your feet, you can't allow yourself to feel fear. You have to move forward. Hope for a better tomorrow, you know? Take me for instance. __I never wanted to BE here in the first place; I certainly didn't intend to be flung through space-and-time by a mad goddess. Hey! Don't give me that look! I just wanted to help people, not strand myself half a universe away! But I've lived long enough to find hope in the little things, joy in the day-to-day. Its all about mentality. We can do this. We can survive. We can strive. We can thrive. __We can make it better. _

_Together._

_That's what it means to be a hero. I've never really considered myself one. I just...did what was right, you know? Not just for me, but for others. Heroes fight. Heroes win._

_Even if it means going to the moon._

_This isn't a game; make no mistake, this is war. Not quite on the scale of the Fourth Shinobi one, but close. And war...war never changes. No matter the time, nor the era, nor the dimension. People fight. Some live. Some die. I don't like that-in fact, I hate it. If there were any other way to do this I would've found it by now. __You win, or you lose. Rise or fall. If I win, I can find a way home. Possibly. Maybe? If I die...well. Least I can say that I tried, you know? I don't want to hurt others. I'm not keen on killing people, but**-no!** I won't! I refuse! I'll find a way around! I swear! I won't soak my hands in innocent blood just to go home! If there isn't a way then I'll make one, damnit! Let them try to stop me!_

_My wish? _

_Fix this mess._

_Turn back the clock._

_Just send me back home. Please._

_I miss my friends. Its been so long. Please._

_Send me home. You...you can do that right? Please?_

* * *

_(...0o0o0...)_

* * *

_Data._

It flowed around him in a bubbling stream of information, an endless river of numbers and letters threading their way through the world. Invisible to the naked eye, but still present if you knew where to search. One had but to look "underneath" to see it, as it were. Ninja were terribly good at that, and he'd had more time to see things than most. His quarters were likewise simple in that regard, little more than re-purposed classroom he had taken over for his purposes. A cot, a lamp, and a

He'd seen the competition-the score of fellow Masters who had made it through the hazing enacted by the Moon Cell, and while some concerned him, he was certain he'd be able to get by.

Because he had skipped that hazing entirely.

As he didn't possess traditional circuits for a mage; the jinchuuriki had to brute force his way into the system itself. As such, the summoning he was about to conduct would prove an exception of sorts. There was no effigy to use here; he'd be drawing directly from the databanks of the Moon Cell itself. It had taken quite a bit of talking-thank god for his silver tongue and the good 'ol Talk No Jutsu!-on his part to convince the Moon that he was no threat, let alone to be acknowledged as an acceptable Master candidate, but from there things had gone awry.

Rather than reject him, the blasted system went and named him an administrator, thereby putting him in charge of this whole_ shebang._

Something about being a Hero? He didn't much understand the jargon it'd threw at him.

Instead of a simple trio of Command Spells, he found himself staring at flowing crimson tattoo that wrapped around both biceps like a corded vine. Should one follow those circling twisting lines overlong, they would soon find they ended in a strange sword-and-shield combination atop each hand. Nine Command Spells altogether. He wasn't sure if the Grail was playing a joke on him or not.

Naruto considered them, and the summoning circle before him, with a rueful smile.

He was still going to win of course, this just...complicated matters.

Getting inked had been decidedly _low_ on his list of priorities.

For the sake of nostalgia he'd donned an outfit reminiscent of his old orange-and-black jumpsuit of yore. Minus the orange. Though it pained him to discard his favorite color he understood the necessity of looking the part in the battles to come. So he'd dressed down, made himself look like a harmless civilian rather than a deadly weapon of mass destruction. In place of what some might call a ghastly flaming color, he'd donned a simple blue sleeveless shirt over which he'd thrown a loose red jacket followed by a pair of mismatching black khaki pants and boots. Simple, really. Nothing extraordinary.

If someone saw through his guise, well, more power to them, then.

Still, it made for an interesting experience if nothing else.

A small smile plucked at the corner of his mouth.

"Here goes nothing~!"

Before he could second-guess himself, he opened his palm and bled onto circle.

Light flared, high and wild and very violet.

That was a good thing, right?

Hopefully?

He wanted a companion who understood him; not just his thoughts and motives, but his love for the world as a whole. Though this wasn't his universe, though he'd been ripped out of his own and cast into another entirely without his own volition, he still cared for it. That was simply who he was. He helped people.

It didn't matter if they were weak. He wasn't looking for strength here. If worst came to worst he'd happily take the fight to the enemy himself. Surely that much was allowed in the Moon Cell. Even after all these years-and a fair bit of rust-he had full confidence in his skills, most of which had transferred over to this digital world quite handsomely.

So when the light swelled Naruto planted both hands in his pockets and waited patiently for the new arrival to make themselves manifest.

He was in no rush, but a small part of him confessed a certain sort of excitement here. He was looking forward to this. He WANTED this to happen. To meet whomever-whatever!-was on the other side. He knew so very, very, _very _little about Servants and as such found himself quite curious to meet one. Were they strong, he wondered? How strong? That small, childish part of him that he'd never quite quashed began to bubble happily as the light cleared, living him blinking and squinting into the smoke.

To his mild dismay, he found himself facing a tall, dark-haired woman with a noticeably curvy figure and...very large breasts.

No, seriously, how did she even _move_ with those melons?!

Her outfit was so utterly eccentric that he couldn't even begin to describe it beyond some kind of latex bodysuit bearing bits of armor-elbow and knee length gauntlets and greaves-alongside odd cloth and cords wrapped and tied about her body in the strangest places. A lone katana hung at her side, its sheathe held tight to her body by another strange cord of sorts. Somehow he had the feeling it wasn't for show. Neither was the quiver holding a set of arrows joined by her right hip, nor the tall bow bound at her back.

A beat of silence passed between the two of them, broken only by the faint sound of footsteps outside.

"Good day, dear Magus-san." At last, the woman bowed deep and low at the waist, forcing him to fight down a twitch. "I am Saber._..oh?"_ those gentle eyes blinked, growing wide with confusion as she seemed to realized something. An anxious gaze was cast about herself as she twisted and turned in place. "What? I am not a Saber...oh, my." as he looked on she fidgeted restlessly before returning her gaze to him. "Umm...I am Minamoto no Raikou. While I am currently much too flawed to act as a commander, as a Berserker, I hope you will still treat me well."

Naruto clicked his tongue, fighting down the initial surge of confusion.

"So," he managed awkwardly, scratching the back of his head, "You're a Berserker? That's a good thing, right?"

"Indeed~!" Raikou hummed happily, the air of unease evaporating as he began to drill her with questions. "I assure you, I'm quite capable in combat." another bow followed the last_-andohgodtheybounced-_as she forcibly straightened again. "I will protect you with my life. You may leave your battles to me."

Despite himself, the blond squirmed. Just a little.

Something about the way she'd said that just now caused Naruto to bridle. As if he needed protecting! Of course, she couldn't possibly know that, but his pride was rankled all the same. He didn't _want _to be protected; if only in part because he was so accustomed to fighting on the front lines himself. In the same vein, his curiosity was also aroused. This was his Servant, certainly. His ally in the battles to come. But how strong was Raikou truly. And thus, that small, boyish part of him-the prankster that he always was and would be-concocted a plan on the spot.

"Well, I'm rather new to this Grail War business myself. Perhaps you could help me?"

Her smile was pure as sunshine.

"Happily, my Master~!"

"You know what?" a slow, impish smile bloomed on those whiskered cheeks. "How about a little test?"

Berserker blinked.

"A test?"

"Just a little spar. Nothing to worry about," Naruto bounded lightly on the balls of his feet as he watched his Servant shift restlessly, her fingers idly curling about the hilt of her weapon, "I've got some rust to work off and wanna see what you're capable of. Might as well kill two birds with one stone, you know?"

Raikou turned hesitant, her lips pursing slightly. "I do not wish to hurt you...

He was more than ready for her concerns and swatted them aside.

"Half speed then?" he shot back.

A small, benevolent smile bloomed. "Ara, are you trying to test _me_ or _yourself_, Master?"

"Bit of both, I suppose." came the concession as he settled into a loose stance reminiscent of a kabuki pose. "We gonna do this or not?"

Marvelous as the Moon Cell might be, it never thought to prevent a Servant from fighting their own Master. Or vice versa. Least of all when said blows lacked lethal intent. It was a flaw in the system perhaps, but one he could easily bend to his advantage. Such things fell well under the purview of training and the Grail allowed these things quite happily. That didn't mean accidents couldn't happen. Naruto was still watching Raikou like a shifty hawk when her expression shifted and the atmosphere _changed, _her eyes alighting with a strange, wild glee.

"As you will!"

In place of this docile woman, a graceful predator drew her sword and pounced.

Instinct compelled him to retreat, but distance meant next to nothing in cramped quarters against such a blade. He had no doubt that she'd pull back at the last moment-but that wouldn't be any fun either. So, rather than fall back, Naruto simply channeled a portion of Kurama's chakra into his right arm. Then, using his now golden arm, he reached around and slapped her sword into the floor. Raikou's look of surprise was almost comical by comparison, even if she hadn't come at him with intent to kill.

Before she could react bounded back and flicked a kunai at her.

It reactivated Berserker; because she cut it in half and lunged at him. Unfazed by this sudden storm of blows, Naruto simply channeled more chakra to his limbs and stepped in to intercept her. First with an armored boot, then a shin, an elbow and finally a finger. By the twelfth blow he could no longer conceal his smile. She wasn't striking in earnest, and perhaps that made her a bit easy to read...but he couldn't help himself. He wanted to tease her, just a little.

"C'mon now, I know I said half speed but are you even trying here?"

Her smile deepened. "My apologies, Master. Please duck."

Blue eyes bulged. _'Uh-oh.'_

Raikou blurred.

There could be no other word for it; one moment he was holding her back with ease, the next her katana flashed across his face in a blur of steel. This time he felt the bite of the blade despite his chakra shroud, measured _just_ enough to batter his arm down without drawing blood. His shoulder promptly went numb. Rusty indeed! In his prime he would've been faster than that; would've been able to take a hit like that. As if sending that very weakness a knee crashed into his stomach and he doubled over before his legs scythed out in return, sending Berserker tumbling with a startled yelp.

By the time Naruto spun away Raikou had already bounded back to her feet. There was a wariness in her eyes now, but also something...more. Something he couldn't quite read.

_She was smiling._

"My, my!" a soft, bell-like laugh leaped from her lips. "I wasn't aware I had such a capable Master! Shall we call it here?"

"No, I don't think so!" he growled, beckoning with four fingers of his right hand. "Come on!"

Perhaps that might've been the wrong answer, but he didn't care.

Her wan smile bloomed into something else.

Then she was on him.

Berserker closed the distance in a heartbeat; just as he planned. Once more he stepped into her stance; only this time he swayed beneath the blade and delivered a light flick to her forehead. Raikou jolted in surprise and he used that second of shock to slide past her, cutting out at her legs as he skidded by. This time she bounded over his trick, only to fall prey to a second suck flick, this one against her back. She spun and cut out at him, even trimmed a few golden hairs for her trouble, but by then he'd already danced out of her range again.

"Right, you're dead." Naruto declared glibly, holding up a hand. "That's one point for you, two for me."

"I...beg your pardon?" Raikou blinked, somewhat taken back by his sudden statement.

"If this had been a real fight, I would've won." he retorted. "Satisfied, yet?"

Apparently not for he soon found an arrow lodged into the wall less than an inch from his face. Naruto felt the color drain from his face at the near miss. Raikou's smile proved deceptively innocent when he glowered at her for the shot. She wasn't even _holding _her bow anymore, having somehow returned it to her back sometime in the nanosecond between glances. Fine.

"Are you?" she sniped back at him. "Also. Dead."

Well! She certainly caught on quickly.

Speaking of which!

_"Hey!"_

Two could play that game. Faster than he she could react, he skimmed past and delivered a light tap to her waist with a similar declaration. Credit where it was due, Raikou reacted just as quickly to his taunt; for the flat of her blade swatted _dangerously _close to his important bits a heartbeat later before he could react. Bruised his ego, too.

"Dead."

A muscle jumped in his jaw.

Quick as a flash he darted behind her.

Two fingers poked between her shoulders.

"Dead!"

As one they exploded into motion, striking at impossible angles, blurring and blocking with speed that would've made even the most agile Servant balk. Naruto bobbed and weaved, all the while never moving his feet; the moment he saw a break he dove past her and risked a parting slap on her thigh, followed by a bop on the nose and a tug on her long hair for good measure and tugging her hair for good measure.

"Dead, dead, dead!" he sang, laughing.

And she flew at him with her sword raised high.

In response he flowed back allowing her to chase him in the confined space as she willed. He wasn't a boy anymore and fought back just as hard, a wild grin stealing over his face to stretch across whiskered cheeks as she pushed him hard, harder, hardest. Who could say how long they fought for? Minutes? Hours? It could've been any length of time, but he found his muscles buzzing pleasantly by the end. That end, when it came was as swift as it was surprising, if only because it was so unorthodox. He was laughing. She was laughing too, he realized. He was enjoying this as much as her.

Abruptly, Raikou bowled him over.

Naruto was caught wholly off guard by this.

"Whoa, whoa, whoa!" he cried out! "What the hell?! No fair! Foul! I call foul!"

That same motherly, cherubic smile flashed out at him, blinding in its brilliance. Then she tackled him headlong again in spite of his protests, literally leaping at him. To his dismay, he wasn't able to wriggle free. Well! This was unusual. Downright mysterious, even. Her arms tightened further still around his waist as she showered him with affection; rubbing her face against his cheek as her long midnight hair tickled his nose. Something warm and soft crushed into his chest, hitching with her very breath, bringing with it a sharp and sudden pang of desire. Her breasts, he realized belatedly.

"Well, well." Raikou purred. "I believe I win."

...you're not going to let me up, are you?" Naruto croaked.

A small, demure smile plucked at the corner of the blackette's mouth.

"That depends," she chirruped happily, settling against him. "Do you concede, Master?"

This close, Raikou's gentle breath warmed his face, even as her lips teased the outer lobe of his right ear.

Looking back, it couldn't be said to be any ill omen on their part; nor was it a sense of danger, but rather...anxiety. He'd fallen in with a troublesome woman. Nor would she be the only one he would encounter, for there would be more. Little did he know that this was only the beginning of a mad war, one that would shake not only the moon, but the universe itself.

Two more would follow her, each madder than the last.

Yes, how very little Naruto Uzumaki knew.

_...I've got a bad feeling about this.'_

How little indeed.

**A/N: As ever, this will be gone in two days if people don't like it.**

**I do hope you like it T_T**

**Ho boy.**

**Mama Raikou has arrived!**

**Naruto is still Naruto at heart; he just wants to go back home.**

**Unfortunately, our boy seems to have a thing for Berserkers-or rather, they have thing for him!-in this story. That **

**I had to think long and hard about Naruto's given Servant. After all, there are LOT of Masters on the Moon-several hundred before the first selection of memory serves-and the potential, ohohohoho a fine piece of potential indeed! But then I realized I hadn't given a certain Servant her debut**

**Care to guess who their first opponent is? This is going to be far, far, FAR different from A Most Unlikely Rider!**

**Now back to the 'ol double shift, once again, with only an hour in between.**

**Looking forward to reading your reviews when I get back.**

**So In the Immortal Words of Atlas...**

**...Review, Would You Kindly?**

**And enjoy the previews!**

**Potential ones, at that.**

**Which do you like?**

**HERE'S THEIR FIRST OPPONENT!**

**(Previews!)**

_"Its pointless." he shook his head, blocking Berserker's blow. "You should just give up. As I am now, you won't be able to touch me-_

_Gawain grunted as a golden fist rocketed into his face despite his enhanced strength. _

_He felt a tooth crack as he stumbled away, but the words hung with him._

_"Don't you DARE discount hard work, you flaming idiot!"_

_In the next moment he found himself swarmed._

* * *

_"I'll heal you even if I have to kill you."_

_Naruto squawked._

_"LADY WHAT THE HELL?!"  
_

* * *

_Then her eyes lit in a white-hot flare of recognition. __"Wait!" she cried. "You, there! Halt!"_

_"What is it with me and Berserkers, for crying out loud?! OI!"_

* * *

_"You're not afraid?"_

* * *

_"No."_

_"Whaddya mean, no?!"_

_"As in nope. Negatory. Nyet. I ain't fighting you."_

**R&R~! =D**


	2. A Most Unlikely Decision (Interlude)

**A/N: WARNING!**

**This chapter has spicy bits!**

**As to be expected of Minamoto no Raikou.**

**There you've been forewarned ahead of time.**

**Now onto other matters FGO's been good to me.**

**On my second day playing the game I wound up getting Mozart, Hassan of the Cursed Arm, Bloodaxe, Lu Bu, Saint George, Kotaro, Sasaki, and Mata Hari.**

**Then, on my last summoning of the night, one I did purely on a whim...**

**...I got Nero Claudius.**

**0_0**

**Well!**

**If I wasn't addicted to this game before, I am now. I wasn't even trying to get her! I didn't even know that was possible! I haven't spent a single CENT on this game and by some blind bloody struck of luck I keep getting good luck! I swear to god if I keep getting good fortune like this I'm going to lose my mind! I usually don't play mobile games at all, yet this one's caught my eye.**

**And the UMU~!**

**Considering I didn't get any repeats?**

**I'd say it was a good day.**

**But this game is stealing a LOT of my free time-what little I have, so I have to be careful.**

**Is it too much to ask for reviews? They seriously help me get through shitty days like this. If someone could be a dear and review A Most Unlikely Exam too, that'd be nice...its so close to two hundred and...well...I just need to hear some good news today. **

**So, off we go! REVIEW FOR IT FEEDS MY ENGINE OF CREATION~!**

**One more to go! Only one more! Then I can finally update everything and release the chapters I have planned.**

**THERE SHALL BE ONLY ONE MASTER!NARUTO ON THE MOON! SO SAYETH I! Moon Cancer is next, then I can finally open the floodgates and unleash the updates. ****There, now we have a grand total of five Master!Naruto in all. ****Almost done...gotta...keep going...**

**As ever, this will be gone in two days if people don't like it.**

**I do hope you like it T_T**

_"I'll never let you go."_

_"I'll be right down the hall, jeez..._

_~?_

**A Most Unlikely Decision (Interlude)**

_"Master~!"_

Minamoto no Raikou was nothing if not affectionate. She was by his side with every step, happy and content to follow him where he willed as he strode down the hall. It didn't much bother Naruto at first; he was rather accustomed to the affections of the fairer sex by now, even if they were not necessarily so...forward in said affections. Indeed, Berserker stopped just short of outright clinging to him, yet she expressed her affection on other ways. Strange ways. Small ways, a manner of methodology that you really wouldn't notice unless you knew what to look for.

But Naruto did.

Her hips would always brush against his when he stopped to ask someone a question; her scent always lingered nearby when he stopped to resolve some menial dispute or attend to a task. For all the perks of being an Administrator of a Holy Grail War, he found himself starting conflicts just as much as settling them and apologized for it each time of course but in the same vein she made no effort to stop. She was always...touching him. As though to make certain she wasn't dreaming; to make sure he was still there. Her eyes would follow him as he crossed the halls, and more than once he caught his Servant staring. Her expression was a strange one; as though she couldn't decide whether to hug him or simply jump his bones.

Such as now.

"Is there something on my face?"

Raikou missed half a step but recovered flawlessly. "Whatever do you mean?"

Naruto was almost tempted to call her bluff, but her innocent blink only just dissuaded him. He knew precisely what she was playing at, but he wasn't about to give her the satisfaction. If being near him made her happy, then so be it. She'd even gone so far as to make him a lunch this afternoon. He couldn't bring himself to acknowledge her just yet. So he let her be. If she was so adamant about it they would eat together, fight together, even sleep together as they prepared to face their shared enemy.

Much to his chagrin she refused to hide away in astral form the rest of the day, consenting to it only when she absolutely needed to move quickly.

Now, here, by the third day, there was a away to Berserker's hips that most assuredly hadn't been there in the beginning; she didn't so much walk as she did strut. And the way she straightened her back and ran a hand through her hair when she thought he wasn't looking...well. He wouldn't lie, he found her attention-alright, MORE than a bit-attractive in the coming days. Downright adorable even. She was clearly pining for his attention if nothing else, and he made no attempts to rebuff her; on the contrary, he rather liked the way she fussed over him. He knew it would be wrong of him to play dense and ignore her, but he wasn't quite sure how to broach the subject without eliciting an outburst of joy or some other wild emotion from her.

For all her whims and whiles Raikou was still a Berserker.

That class had a tendency to be a bit...volatile when experiencing strong feelings.

She was excited; almost eager for the battle to come. He didn't blame her. Their fighting styles meshed quite well with another. The woman could create CLONES of herself with her Noble Phantasm. Coupled with his own vast reserves, he was certain they could drown out most enemies with sheer numbers if it came to it...

...except this one.

How long had it been since he was eager to fight someone since he'd discerned Saber's identity? Ages, at least. He had no intention of killing any Servants. Or their Masters. But fighting them? Beating arrogant kings and foolish knights within an inch of their lives? Knocking some sense into their thick skulls? He _lived _for that. He'd done it time and time again back on his world. After meeting Saber's master, he was all the more assured of his decision. If anyone needed a good thump on the head-and there were several Masters that he'd seen in need of such!-it was Leonardo B. Harwey, some upstart little ponce who sounded entirely too full of himself.

His Servant was another matter.

As the Administrator he had the rare privilege of instantly discerning a Servant's true name when he looked at them. None of their class abilities, stats, or Noble Phantasm-for the Moon Cell deemed that unfair-but with a true name he could instantly guess at their history from the varied tales of legends upon which he'd enriched himself before hand. If one was going to be fighting Heroic Spirits, then one needed to be familiar with a good number of legends, no matter how obscure.

Ser Gawain was a Knight of the Round Table and viciously strong. Still. They'd find a way.

Turn the corning, a flash of light danced in his peripherals.

_Then he cut himself._

He wanted to tell himself it was just a slip, that he'd taken a turn too fast and simply tore open his hand on the back of a sharp object of some sort. But that wasn't it. He'd seen something. Someone had deliberately tried to cut him just now, and he'd jerked out of the way without thinking, raising a hand and sustaining injury on his index finger. He'd been targeted, but whomever had deigned to do the deed had slipped away. Were they truly so poor at their job? Or had they been trying to make a statement? Strange. Wasn't fighting forbidden outside of the arena? If so, then how had someone been able to injure him? Were the rules changed, somehow? Either way, this was going to make his job...difficult.

He paid no attention to the injury, knowing it would heal.

Raikou's reaction was...not so subdued.

"Are you hurt?!"

Quick as a flash she had him by the hand, inspecting the bloody gash across one of his fingers. He tried to shake her off to no avail, the concern in her eyes was quite real, evidenced by the gentle way she cradled his already healing injury. Aw. That was almost precious. She didn't know about his healing factor. No matter, he'd be fine.

He tried to say as much. "Its just a small cut, no need to worry about it-

"No, no, no! That will not do!

Before he could think to stop her, Raikou pressed her lips to the bloodied digit and sucked on it gently, tenderly.

"Are you hurt anywhere else? Shall I kiss it better?"

Her lips drifted close, closer, closest, brushing gently against his.

Unfortunately that "minor" injury he'd sustained had unexpected consequences.

"What are you doing?!" someone cried from down the hall. "You can't just suck on his finger! You'll give him an infection!"

The newcomer didn't move. She physically _blurred_ and knocked Raikou out of the way. Wow. What a way to hip-check someone. That looked painful.

One moment she hadn't been there; the next, Naruto found himself face to face with an unfamiliar pair of red eyes framed by a stern face and full pink hair. He had less than a heartbeat to glimpse to glimpse a red formal shirt accompanied by a black skirt and pale boots. Nightingale, his eyes told him. Then a white-gloved hand levered him into the ground, ripped his palm into the ground and held up...where on earth had she gotten a saw blade?! A bead of stray sweat ran down his brow. That thing looked far too sharp for his liking, just what the hell was she planning on doing-

"We'll have to amputate your entire arm, I'm afraid."

The blade came down at blurring speed.

_...nopenopenope!'_

Naruto twisted his fingers together in a seal and rather than his own arm, the crazed woman found herself neatly lopping off the limb of a hapless passerby. Unfortunately, that passerby had been none other than a certain boy with blue hair. Credit where it was due, Nightingale bandaged the wound immediately, holding him down despite his frenzied screams. Such a shame about those Command Spells, though. They had _been_ on his right arm. He wouldn't be able to command his Servant now, but at least he'd be able to survive without fear of being killed. His Servant could remain in Astral form indefinitely, or simply contract with someone else, and the blue-haired boy wouldn't be able to do anything about it. He would sit safely on the sidelines with no fear of dying, even if it did eliminate him from the competiton.

Judging by the screams he gave as an NPC hauled him away, he wasn't happy about it.

"Sorry about that!" Naruto called over at his back. "I thought she'd stop!"

Speaking of stopping, where the devil was Raikou-

"Ara, that was quite rude of you, miss."

An aura of bloodlust answered.

His hand snapped out in the same instant that the mad medic drew a flintlock pistol. One hand closed around naked steel; the other intercepted a bullet. In the next instant he used both wounded hands to yank the two women forward and bash their heads together, leaving them spinning in place. Well. That settled it then. Servants could attack each other-and an errant master or two-in the halls as they pleased. Just what had gotten into the Moon Cell to allow such a thing? Was it because of him? Was it testing him? Or was this all some horrible bug gone wrong-oh. They were moving again.

He narrowly dodged when Nightingale grabbed for him again. "Hey, stop!"

"No! Never!" Her gaze fixated on him fiercely. "I'll heal you even if I have to kill you."

Naruto couldn't help himself; for a moment his composure actually broke as he balked. "LADY WHAT THE HELL?!"

Those placid red eyes only blinked. "If your Servant cannot keep you from being harmed, then perhaps she is not fit to be your Servant."

Raikou all but swayed in placed as she started forward with a demented smile of her own. "Ara, ara, it seems I'll have to teach you a lesson after all...

_"Will you stop?!"_

As his beloved Berserker recovered and tried to attack again Naruto saw her coming; he swore as he tugged her backward by the arm, despite her protest. He was just readying a Command Spell to stop this insanity when a new voice interposed itself over the chaos.

"What's going on here? Why do I smell blood?"

Nightingale wasn't the only Servant he attracted; he glimpsed another out of the corner of his eye.

Clad in a silken kimono of graceful teal to match her equally pale hair, she was a slight and slender beauty, utterly normal...if one ignored the horns. Despite himself, Naruto groaned. Kiyohime. Despite knowing next to nothing about her, the sight of her name filled him with dread. It was almost too much to hope that Nightingale's little stunt-and Shinji's subsequent screaming-hadn't attracted attention. Initially, at first, he was hoping this newcomer would just glide past and leave them be. He nearly had his wish, too.

Then her eyes lit in a white-hot flare of recognition as they settled on him. "Wait!" she cried. "You, there! Halt!"

"What is it with me and Berserkers, for crying out loud?! OI!"

"You there, with the dark hair." the horned Berserker concealed a small smile behind her fan. "Give me your Master. If you won't surrender him, then I'll just have to take him."

Raikou went pale. "Why you impudent little...!

Naruto yanked her back.

"DO NOT~!"

* * *

_(...0o0o0...)_

* * *

When all was said and done, the chaos over and won, they retired to their room later that evening.

Naruto had been silently dreading this part all day; in part because he knew Raikou was trembling with tension. She wasn't spoiling for a fight with anyone-on the contrary. Her emotions had simply gotten the better of her at long last. To have someone so openly question her life's view was one thing, but to have another Servant simply walk up and claim they were going to steal her Master...no Servant worth their salt would have taken an insult like that lying down. And though she was many things, Raikou was an exemplary Servant.

He'd only just sat down on the bed when she flung herself down beside him. Her head landed in his lap not a heartbeat later.

"Such pushy girls!" his adorable Servant pouted. "They had some nerve, saying that!"

"Now, now." he patted her head. "Just relax."

"Who do they think they are?"

"Berserkers, like you."

_"Not the point!"_

He dearly wanted to hope that she would see sense and calm down. But between Nightingale and Kiyohime, the swordswoman had been push to her breaking point; thus, his words fell on deaf ears. If things were tense before, now Minamoto no Raikou looked all of an instant from bolting out of his lap, drawing her blade, and leaving to have _a friendly little chat _with her fellow Servant girls. She'd likely win, too. For all her eccentricities, there could be no denying that her strength stood a cut above theirs in bloody red spades. Alas, as all three were Berserkers, the likelihood of reconciliation was viciously poor.

If he let her leave this room, there was going to be a bloodbath.

Sure enough, the blackette Berserker wriggled upright despite his mild protests.

As he looked on helplessly, his Berserker worked herself into a frenzy and began pacing back and forth, growling like an angry dragon all the while.

"I don't understand why you're so upset about this." When she misunderstood his words and spun away from him, the whiskered warrior blew out a grave sigh. "Hey, I'm not an idiot, alright? I knew what Kiyohime meant back there. But what she said...it doesn't change anything, you understand that, right. We're still a team. Nothing they say can change that.

Raikou rounded on him with a snarl. "You don't understand!"

He patted the space she'd vacated and, reluctantly, she slid back into it.

"As much as it pains me to admit it," she paused, then shook her head viciously against her madness enhancement. "I am not your mother. You...can be with others if it makes you happy." The last part sounded decidedly strangled, as though she were choking the words out. "However!" A fire gleamed in her violet eyes, "You summoned ME first. Am I not attractive to you? Do you not feel anything for me?"

Oh, dear.

He knew where this was going.

Sure enough, she took his hand and placed it between her breasts.

"Can you not feel my heart beat with yours?" she asked him_-and he was certainly feeling something!-_uncaring for his deceptively blank expression as he felt the pounding rhythm sear itself into his hand, "Do these feelings of mine mean nothing to you?" words tumbled out of her as he fingernails dug into the back of his palm. "Do you find me ugly? Stifling? Clingy? I'll be better, I promise. Just please, please don't-

"No, no, not at all." He reassured her, tugging his hand free.

Those bright ameythst orbs lit up all at once.

"We were interrupted before, weren't we?"

A wild heat rose between them and...Naruto found himself turning away. "I'd be lying if I said there wasn't something between us...

When he glanced back he couldn't miss the faint flush adorning her cheeks. "Then you feel it, too?"

Gods, that sounded corny. He understood her intent well enough, however.

...yes."

Berserker edged closer, her breath warm on his face. "Then what's stopping you, Master? Can you not see that I'm better than them? Why do you hesitate?"

"I-

Raikou never gave him a chance to finish; for she lurched at him with wordless cry and her mouth closed on his in a hungry kiss, one he instantly returned twofold. There was nothing gentle about this locking of lips, and Naruto sucked in a sharp breath through his nose as she purred at him and bit the corner of his mouth hard enough to leave a welt. Almost as if she were marking him, saying she'd been here first, if not claimed him for herself. Then she kissed him again, her bosom smashing up against his chest once more, and a blaze of white-hot fire crept through his veins.

He reached out to cup them as they kissed and Berserker moaned.

Strong fingers grasped his jacket and ripped it from his chest; his shirt followed a heartbeat later.

"Mine." her giggle was sharp, almost demonic. "Never betray me, Master. I'm not sure what I'd do if you hurt me...

She was already removing her armor by the time he sat back up again. "If nothing else, I will be your first. Do you hear me?"

Naruto held back a laugh, only to grunt as the black-haired beauty chucked the last of her clothes at his face and straddled him. His pants _disintegrated_ before they could strike the floor. Then she was kissing him again, her tongue tangling with his while she started doing things to him with her hips, things that were, quite frankly, very distracting. He had no further time for thought-nor did he think!-for the next few hours.

**A/N: Poor Shinji.**

**You always have suuuuch bad luck, but at least this iteration gets to life.**

**And Nightingale is a right determined little thing. Fear that one, I say. FEAR HER.**

** We'll have the battle next chapter~!**

**...I think we can all see Raikou being possessive like that.**

**Its been flat out stated that she "Wouldn't know what she'd do" if someone she loved were to betray her. Now if you try to take that someone from her...may god have mercy on you, because she certainly won't.**

**0_0**

** Well that was spicy.**

**This IS Raikou we're talking about after all.**

**As ever, this will be gone in two days if people don't like it.**

**Now back to the 'ol double shift, once again, with only an hour in between.**

**Looking forward to reading your reviews when I get back.**

**So In the Immortal Words of Atlas...**

**...Review, Would You Kindly?**

**And enjoy the previews!**

**Potential ones, at that.**

**Which do you like?**

**(Previews!)**

_"Oppressor!"_

* * *

_"Have at thee, Berserker!"_

_"I AM NOT! A! BLOODY! BERSERKER!"_

* * *

_Kiyohime sulked._

_"Ah. I see. You're not him...but I still want you."_

_The wandering hero spat out his drink. "Oh, for the love of...!"_

* * *

_"Fascinating."_

_Naruto sighed as Nightingale turned his newly healed palm over in her own._

_"Don't try to cut it off this time..._

* * *

_"BY THE POWER OF YOUTH!"_

_Naruto instantly planted a hand against his forehead._

_...why are they here."_

_"Ara, are they friends of yours, Master?"_

_"Nope. Nope nope nope. Just walk away, dear. Or you'll be scarred for life._

* * *

**R&R~! =D**


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